谂谂下又唔系.

应该系特定既人乱安慰先会觉得好大滴又烦.

对于大部分人既安慰, 我都会觉好warm既.嘻嘻.

sorry喇, 大部分人.

 

今日食左超甜既类蛋糕同薯片. 怪唔得心情甘快又到达高潮喇. 啊哈哈哈...

 

 

现在是芝加哥时间下午3点半.

我在law school library.

连接二.三楼的是一座木楼梯. 刚才捧着大萝书上来二楼. (我发现自从这里开学以后, 我每天进出locker room好多次. 而且每次都很吃力. 因为书太厚太重, 根本不可能随时带在书包. 我记得心痛欲绝地买书那天(他妈的花了我600多美元), 那个Book store人说, 它们比你还重呀)

 

图书馆楼梯上方对着一扇巨大的玻璃窗.

走在楼梯上, 感觉阳光落在眼睛. 眨眼时候会看见自己睫毛的影.

 

为什么legal research & writing 的作业这么零散呢. 笑. 都不知道做到哪了.

 

今天累.

但我累得快乐. 每天都是.

 

所以某些人please不要说注意身体之类的话

( 每次听到觉得无聊厌烦并且无用. 我写东西亦不是要人安慰. 当然很熟悉的朋友是不会这么大滴.-__-++ 嘻嘻 )

 

有时人的沟通就是这样. 熟悉亲密的人有自己独特的沟通方式. 别人亦只能觉得隔着玻璃在看而无法进入. 所以会不幸地产生大滴的效果.

 

-____- |||

 

i forgot my drake email password.

then i could not log on my email box.

then i could not connect my lovely toshiba to the fansy wireless network of drake.

then i could not get on line via my laptop.

then i could not type chinese.

 

the moment i told that extremely nice computer technician my problem, i saw that "dai dic" expression coming from his eyes (bcuz i changed my password just YESTERDAY!..and i forgot it.)

then i felt i was stupid standing there...

 

btw, can u guys hear the song of my blog? i hear nothing -___-++

just now we had a bbq party held by the SBA (Student Bar Association) (actually it was just buffet without really bbqing something)

and guess what, i ate 2 huge hamburgers~along with beef, chicken and a lot of salad and cookies.

a korean american girl told me to grab as much free food as i can , and i did.

so now i am too full to consider any really serious law problems critically and rationally, and that's why i am writing blog.  there's alway something that you can do without thinking. haha.

 

i had my first business association class today with the 2L students.(since i am a transfer, i am not confined to the 1L courses, i could choose whatever i want.)

the prof. asked how many of you would like to be a transaction lawyer? 2/3 of students raised their hands. then he asked how many of you want to be a politician, 2/3 of the rest raised their hands. again he asked how many of you have no idea what you are going to be? i raised my hand.

 

law school students of the usa have already get a bachelor's degree(at least) in some other subjuct, and it's very very difficult and expensive to be a law student here, so they are quite clear of their life goals.

i feel awkward the other day when a prof. asked me what would i want to be after graduation. i have no idea yet.

i am always a girl with no plan. i did most things and decisions in my life purposeless.

one day a fd asked when did i start to plan to go abroad. i said everything was so unplaned. and it just like an accident =) though a beautiful one.

 

by the way, the prof. of the business association class talked extremely fast and i did not understand most of his class!

i wrote down some stupid notes and saw the girl sitting in front of me typing on her fansy sony laptop with an amazing speed...F*CK.

 

i was wondering did one year's study in law school make her understand the language from another planet or what?!

the prof. was definitely talking in the language of some awkward planet(maybe Mars's?!)

...

...

"dai dic" !

 

and you know what, i am going to share with you this korean french girl story in my next blog.

she's such a PARTY girl.

do all beautiful girls get whatever they want? depends. but most sexy girls do. haha.

and you have to show your sexiness first of course. =)

 

and one more thing,

i am not planning to be that kind of annoying person who's gone abroad and speak english only whenever from then on.

why i am typing in english right now is that i am at the library and have no access to the chinese input system, so ;)

don't be mad sweeties. i am not trying to show around.

 

i am happy here though i miss you guys a lot .=)

 

technically it was the first ice-cream i had in the us.

 

i picked the caramel flavor (which would never happen if i knew what caramel means)

and what?

sickenly sweet. u probably will not understand my feeling without trying one.

 

i was wondering that was this cloying little thing trying to kill all my fantasy of ice-cream ?

 

i had no idea there was such an object exists in this universe that is so much sweeter than i am.

 

ice-cream sucks.

 

 

 

今日系Law School Orientation, 我地竟然唔记得左, 搞到下昼去international center交insurance fee先知道原来人地已经整左成朝. 于是拿拿林去Law School听埋下半Part. 甘跟住就去Law School Library睇下选左果D课要买咩书.

就甘迎黎左人生中排位靠前既打击. Huge shock!

牛津高阶甘上下厚既有3,4本, 每本超过100…USD! 其他细少少既大过本初阶. 加加埋埋超过650USD.

Am I dying? Nope. Already dead.

 

我郑重甘宣布, 原来电视电影诸如咩爱在哈佛里面D人成日摞住本枕头甘厚既law book系度睇既场面,

完全, 绝对, 一定…系真既.

我问个帮我地选书既librarian我地系米要一年睇晒呢D枕头, 距话, 唔系…系一个session要睇晒…

距话, This is something about law school. There is always a lot of reading.

叼…

 

睇中文都未得啦大佬啊.

所以你话, 如果美国lawyer稳得唔多钱, D law school根本唔可能生存. 完全违反人体生理规律.

入左去好似比埋条命你甘.

 

救命…

今日Orientation已经有assignment. 要睇几个case. 星期四就要上contract. 又要去Iowa supreme court参观.

无啦无啦…happiness ends. 唉…

                                                                                                      

 

Aug 21, 2006

Des Moines, Iowa, USA

 

 我知道很多时候写激励人心的文字是因为写的人自己心里有疑惑.

例如写已忘掉某个人, 其实是因心里一直在挂念. 需要写出来. 白纸黑字, 给自己信心和鼓励.

告诉自己我可以忘记.

 

记得过去经常做这样的事. 看起来坚强乐观的人. 有自己在心里努力填平缺口的艰难过程.

后来写日记可以非常坦白. 无论过得去过不去的, 忠于自己地记录.

我知道这对于某些人亦是不容易. 虽无人窥探我们的日记, 但对于已说服自己总是表现快乐的人, 对自己掩饰亦成习惯.

 

看起来风光无限的, 前前后后, 甚至光芒四射的过程中的难堪, 他自己不说, 又有谁知道.

而我说可以过去. 不是对什么充满信心. 只是知道大家都不容易, 若别人能, 我亦一定可以.

 

我有一些朋友, 说对感情没有信任. 其中一个很勇敢的女孩子, 说失望太多, 都已不相信.

我原因不明地乐观. 觉得会有一个人在. 不知在哪里在什么时候, 但总会有.

 

“我还是深信不疑地幻想, 爱情不是偶然, 经过了多少酝酿.”

我为什么会认识你而不是他. 你为什么喜欢我而不是别人. 都是偶然吗. 还是我们应该深信不疑的缘分.

会觉得, 正如某些人某些事给过不能抹去的痕迹, 我或者我做过的事是不是亦会给别人同样的回忆裂口.

如果一切不是偶然, 为什么要这样发生, 而不是那样发生.

人之间的感情, 到底需要多少酝酿多少原谅. 让本不关联的人, 愿意把感情给你, 即使受伤害, 还义无反顾.

我们只对某些特定的人愿意这样付出. 理由怎么也说不清楚.

 

或者因为年轻, 有深信不疑的能力.

经历自然不是没有改变心智, 信心亦不是一直都在. 只是它消失过又能回来, 平和且让我觉得安稳.

还在重庆的时候收到羔羊发来的短信, 说她变成了卷毛羊. 然后恬恬给我发说, 吹水团里面就只有你还没有尝试了小妹.

我笑笑突然想, 你们不相信, 我原来是吹水团里最乖最老土的土包子.

不知道为什么. 但我盲目且倔强地信. 信幸福, 信快乐, 信有一天他会来.

这些最老土但温暖的信仰.

 

无论是努力过程中很艰辛的你们, 还是受了伤, 心里有说不出来难过的你们.

如果过去不能改变, 以后不可预测. 现实总是在出其不意地发生, 奇怪的酝酿过后得出奇怪的结果.

除了相信, 我们又能怎样说服自己.

若什么都会失去, 深信不疑的能力亦是.

亲爱的, 我们就该在还能拥有的时候趾高气扬地用它.                                         

 

 

                                                                                          

Aug 20, 2006

Des Moines, Iowa, USA

亲爱的, 系米好挂住我咧? =)

 

旅途一路顺利. 除左系chicago transfer既时候, 果架超mini既american eagle晚点左个几钟之外.

无时差反应. 暂时无不良情绪问题.

 

系上海机场等飞chicago既时候领导(i hope you know that i am referring to you 小平同志.^_^.)发短信问我, 喂你喊完未.

我话, 一滴眼泪都无.

他话, 好恐怖. 冷血啊你.

 

by the way, 讲起chicago, 系我第一个接触大量美国人既地方. 我发现一个被大家长期扭曲既事实. 就系...

美国人其实好瘦下嘎咋各位!!!

especially 系后生果D. 而且好多老太太都好瘦好型. 戴超大sunglasses摞住个LV/fendi甘出黎行.

我等到超无mood果两个钟观察, 距地平均体型其实相当正常.

 

...仲有就系全民sandal. 呢个特点系des moines就巨明显.

系唔系都sandal. 特别系D学生仔.

由于22号先系law school orientation, 宜家见得professor唔多, 但我个academic adviser就系着nike既.

黎到之后第二日距同距两个好cute既女女载我地同两个french girls去grocery shopping, 发现大家身上所有运动系列都系nike.

可能系偶然现象. but到此为止, 我净系见到个french boy着adi.

 

虽然今年law school 既international studnets 里面只有一个french boy系男生, 但根据可靠线报, drake university系一个明显男生比女生多既地方.

cool!

呢几日系呢度见过既华裔同学仔都系得一个女仔. oh yeah.

 

因为今年其他几个law school international students都系french, 都系黎读master degree, 而且美国既legal education system里面law school 无bachelor degree,

所以我地已经算好年轻(兼有为)既law students喇.

 

呢度中国黎既人好鬼少, 全校计埋15个左右. 而且有10个今年新黎既.

有D人系华裔既, 但系好细个就去左某个地方, 所以唔识讲mandarin.

 

比如有个广州出世读pharmacy既女仔一岁就去左ecuador, 所以距净系识讲spanish,english同cantonese.

另外一个HK男仔都系类似case. 细个从HK去左ecuador, 所以又系spanish, english同cantonese.

甘有一个好鬼geng既男仔呢, 系北方人喔, 细细个就去左深圳, 神奇既就系用一年就学晒high school三年既野, 之后申请scholarship出黎读精算-.-|| 距宜家修紧summer school, 即系三年就会读晒四年既课. 我问距你悭埋悭埋甘多时间做乜. 距话, 悭得就悭…

所以呢, 距就同我一样, 系mandarin, cantonese同english喇.

 

大家一齐, 原来系可以讲广东话既.

都米话唔诡异.

 

甘但系呢, 另外一个叫tiger既超高成都男生, 就系mandarin,english同chengdu dialect.

加之同我一齐黎既Yolanda, 系重庆读书既山东人.

所以如果呢棚中国人一齐, 只有一个共同语言. 就系...

英文...

 

呢度, everyone's driving a car. 就算一D chinese freshman都系.

无车似乎系超唔适合生存. 我同roommate寻日食完饭出去附近最近既supermarket买野, 行到鬼甘快闲闲地单程都成半个钟.

 

讲开supermarket, 就一定要讲walmart. i LOVE walmart!

一大盒2L既奶唔使1.3USD. 好多野都唔使1USD 1LB. 如果摞美国工资系可以过得好舒服.

大家谂下9毫纸系国内超市可以买到咩野. 呢度就可以买到一筒30% fat off既品客chips. 所以同比黎讲, 美国人系过得轻松愉快好多啵.

贵既野都系made in china.

 

我住系学校外面. 好近既. 基本全部系住学生. 我至今为止都未认得路. 成日行错.

apartment唔错. 成栋都系木造. 有一个好cute既厨房, 呢几日买左D cookware, 好开心终于有个地方可以发挥我超乎想象创意无限既厨艺! 虽然系两日, 但双手已经出现五处左右来历不明既刀戒伤口, 成日唔知点解觉得隐隐作痛, 原来系唔知几时切亲…

呢度D supermarket 有无数甘多种cheese, 今日就整呢个香肠+cheese炒粉丝. 听个名都吓死你. 好食嘎呢 ;-)

 

窗外都系树. 早上有阳光从窗口照入黎(I mean 如果唔落窗帘). 睇D树系阳光同风里面摆下摆下真系好懒浪漫嘎啵...

不过对面家人只狗周不时原因不明甘叫下, Yolanda话可能距有某些伤心既往事…

 

亲爱的. 你地最近点呢 =)

我好好. 希望你地都好好.

                                                                                                                        

 

 

               Aug 19, 2006

Des Moines, Iowa, USA

                                                                                                                                                                          

  

一个非常好的朋友, 说起女朋友的时候语气平淡, 说不会再有别人. 我会和她结婚.

然后突然和一个认识一个月的女孩子在一起.

 

听到的时候的一点点惊讶很快就过去. 不去分析别人的感情. 是寂寞还是什么, 说起来都是老土的.

 

我有时想, 我对于别人的感情, 有盛大的珍惜.

见到在一齐的人, 会乐癫癫地问, 以后是不是要结婚.

听到说是的时候心里在笑你幼稚. 之余还是觉得这样相信着也很好.

 

不碰有女朋友的男孩子. 即使我喜欢. 是因为觉得你们的感情亦是不容易.

有时候见到像我朋友这样的, 和在一齐很久的打算要结婚的女朋友分手, 又有新的伴, 会失信心. 虽然分分合合是平常.

 

会觉得, 你们对自己的感情, 还没有我对你们的感情一样的珍惜.

 

 

只是突然想到. 觉得这样好的人. 即使不能结婚但以为会再长久一点的人. 还是分了.

我珍惜, 还不如你自己能珍惜.

 

笑. 就不能搞对能撑住的来看看么. =)